So much on the mind

So today for some reason, i feel like I'm trying to "conform" to society too much...trying to fit in. It's got me depressed a bit. I don't want to fit into a "box". It takes away from what defines me. But I feel the devil putting things into my space that are tempting me right now. Some of them are easy to ward off and some aren't. I'm still working on it. Only thing I DON'T like about it is that it's affecting my music...affecting my creativity. So I'm taking a little break for a few days this weekend.

Another thing that just randomly came across my mind...you know how you have to sometimes cut people loose in order to progress yourself. Not that they are bad people, but you just can't have them around for a particular reason because it will hold you back. Well what happens when you realize that you are that somebody that someone close to you had to let go because you were holding THEM back. I know, me personally, in that situation I just proceed to evaluate myself and then find out where I need to improve (if i feel improvement is needed...sometimes you and that person are just not on the same path). But even us guys have emotions sometimes...especially when it's a woman who decides that you aren't what she needs in her life...after so long.

This isn't something that happened recently, but recently I've been really thinking on if there are any good women around me and what does it take to have one in my life. I realized that she was a very good woman, but there were circumstances that I felt I could not deal with and she felt there were things in her life she wanted to improve. Thinking about all this has popped her up in my mind..maybe to remind me that I don't need to backtrack and try to settle for anything and anyone just to say I have someone. But I digress...and to put it simply...I miss her and the things she used to do for me in all aspects of life...

With my music, I have a couple of options I would love to pursue, but I have to make sure that the people I deal with on a daily basis are those who I feel are really wanting to MAKE MUSIC...not become famous or just try to shine and get a spotlight. Of course I want to make money from what I do, but I also want to make GOOD music. Something that everyone can listen to...and i mean REALLY listen to. the actual MEANING OF MUSIC is being lost. I'm trying to find my own meaning and inspiration. I just want to make sure that I direct it in the right direction. I know I will...just need to pray about it and stay focused.

Anyways, those are just a few thoughts that came across my mind.

ya'll have a blessed day.

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